Thursday, July 28, 2011

O.M.G. I've Been Writing, and other fascinating stuff.

I made a little resolution to get my S*i# together and stop waiting for things to fall into place, so that my life would be perfect.  Every now and then I find myself wallowing around with the committee in my head, agreeing that I suck and should probably just give up and get in line to be a guest on Jerry Springer.  Not sure what my "issue" would be, as my kids all look WAY too much like The Big Guy and me to belong to my lesbian lover (I DON'T HAVE ONE, NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT) and my high school sweetheart (I did have one of those, but he's a non-issue). 

Anyway, I took a look at my calves, the flash drive that doesn't have my novel on it, the mountain of un-mailed graduation thank-you notes, and started making a list of goals.  Exciting stuff. 

1) Get back on a food plan (which is recovery-speak for "diet")
2) Get some exercise (besides working my mouse clicking finger)
3) Act healthy (this is the "Fake it 'til you make it" theory)
4) Write a damn book, already
5) Get organized and efficient at work (ummm...probably by not spending so much time blogging?)
6) Get a "Better Home".  Not aspiring to be Martha Stewart here, just to fix real food for my kids once or twice a week.  Remember to water the grass.  Pull a weed now and then. 

So, not being one for half-measures, I dug out the most hardcore book I could find in my personal library, Body For Life. Part of my reason for pulling out that book is that I have a new posing suit client.  She'll be doing a women's figure competition in October, and working with these women is always eye-opening (I have no aspirations, not even secret fantasies about being this buff.  But finding the time and energy to exercise?  I do fantasize about that).  And learning to walk in stripper heels.  I think The Big Guy might like that.

 Anyway.  I looked at the book for a while, and then logged onto Sparkpeople instead.  There are half-measures and there is reason.  Can I just tell you that substituting grilled chicken for salami has resulted in a loss of six pounds in four days?  Okay, maybe the elimination of donuts and ice cream is a factor, too.  And running to the bathroom sixteen times a day because I've been drinking so much water.

As for those goals? I'm hitting about 500 right now.  I've been doing SOME writing everyday, churning out a perfectly shitty first draft.
Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life
  Haven't made it to the gym.  Pulled a few weeds, but the mosquitos were pretty bad, and I haven't unearthed the bug spray yet, so I went back inside.  But here is the biggest news of all:

My son, the Bearded Wonder, came into the kitchen last night and said, laughing, "What's for dinner?"

I pointed at the stove and said, "Grilled chicken, salad, and brown rice." 

He stopped laughing.  "Really?"

"Yes.  What did you think I was going to say?"

From the living room (Drama Queen) and the basement (Sam Stanley Experience) and the Bearded Wonder came, all together now, "Whatever you make for yourself."

YES!  I get extra points for that one


  1. Congratulations on getting your shit back together! It's never easy...

    Maybe you could go on Jerry claiming that the children aren't YOURS! You could say that you were abducted and implanted. That would be a compelling show.

  2. LOL! The secret to appearing brilliant to your family is to first instill low expectations. (Hey, it works for me.)

  3. Good for you, Teri Anne! Feel free to use me as a motivation buddy for any and all of your endeavors. (As most of them are echoes of my own!!!)

    Love that Tawna posted you on her blog. Very cool! And your Jerry reference had me LOLing for REAL.

  4. Good for you, TA. Although, I officially hate you now because you lost 6 pounds in 4 days and I've only lost 4.5 in 3 weeks and I HAVE been exercising and eating healthy.

    And, yes, finish the book. You've been teasing me this past year with little samples of your stories.

  5. Ah, another list maker! A kindred spirit!

    Also on the "food plan." I'll take the brown rice happily, especially if I don't have to cook!