Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Football Season: When Hope Springs Eternal, or, I'm a Bengals Fan

Cue music:  Welcome to the Jungle, by Guns N' Roses.
Granted, our "jungle" is more like a weedy playground right now.  The Bengals have a long history of stealing defeat from the jaws of victory, but we love to hate them anyway. 

Every year, The Big Guy says he's not even going to bother watching.  And yet, every Sunday, we find ourselves at home, eating pretzels and watching our Bungles, praying for the impossible.  Last year was supposed to be a great year, but it was not.  This year is supposed to suck, so maybe there is some hope! 

We've lost a couple of key players: 
Carson Palmer
Chad Ochocinco

I think I might miss the Chad.  He came to Cincinnati as Chad Johnson, on a team full of other Johnsons (and I mean guys with the last name "Johnson", not guy with "johnsons", although that metaphor might be pretty applicable, too.  Anyway.  Number 85 changed his name legally to Ochocinco.  We all rolled our eyes, but went out and bought  new  85 jerseys.  Chad also tweets alot.  We rolled our eyes and got a twitter account so we could follow him.  Then there was the reality show.  We rolled our eyes and set our DVRs.  But now Chad has left us for New England.  We rolled our eyes and said, "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out!"  Actually, I do wish him well.  Who will we roll our eyes at now? 

Part of being a Bengals fan is being optimistic, in an ironic, bitter sort of a way.  It's like being Eeyore, you know? My cup is not half full, but it's not half empty, either.  My cup has room for more.  And this year, I am setting my sights on this guy: 

His name is Andy Dalton, and he's like, fifteen years old.  Okay, not really, but he IS young enough to be my son, so I'm not going to be all creepy stalker-ish over him, but my goodness...what a cutie! His hair matches the stripes.  And his name is Andy...isn't that name just...sincere?   I have high hopes that Andy will do well.  And look...he wears his watch with his uniform!  He'll be on time for every game. 


  1. I love football season! But not for the football. It brings about cool, crisp fall weather, crunchy leaves underfoot and ushers in Halloween. *can't wait!*

  2. "The Bengals have a long history of stealing defeat from the jaws of victory, but we love to hate them anyway."

    LOL! That's exactly what we saw about our Redskins.

    And, yes, Andy is a cutie-pie. May he play well for you.

  3. I think a better song would be George Michael's Faith...

    But I understand the love, I really do!

  4. LOL I love football...getting time to fix my converter box and get new antenaae. Too many shows that I'm missing now. (Not that I have time to watch any!)