Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Oh, for Heaven's Sake. Really? How hard can it be to find a couple of pair of khaki pants, you ask?
Well. If you have to ask, then you clearly don't have a 13-year old daughter going to Catholic school with a khaki pant dress code.
"Mom, don't forget I need at least three new pairs of pants, last year's don't fit me AT ALL."
"Okay, honey. Do you want to go to Target?"
*go to Target, fight over buying new binders when there are perfectly good binders taking up space in the computer room. Fight more over buying new spiral ring notebooks. Etc.*
"Okay, if last year's don't fit, then you need a bigger size."
"No, Mom, I wear a nine."
*looks at shorts that are crawling up the size "nine" butt.*
"Darn, sweetie, they are out of nines."
*Sigh. Eye roll (by both parties). DQ goes into dressing room, comes out with nines on, barely buttoned.*
"Honey, you need the elevens."
"But Mom, these fit perfectly."
*Mom eyes the outline of the pockets, visible because pants are so tight, and pantie lines*
"Honey, you have Camel Toe."
*Sigh. Eye roll. Goes back in and puts on elevens, which Mom thinks fit fine*
"Mom, these are HUGE! Besides, they arent' the right shade. I want the darker ones. Can't we go to Old Navy?"
*Pull up in front of Old Navy. Get into staring match with little old lady over parking space. Lose, because she's driving a Lincoln Continental and I'm driving a Honda. Find spot five miles away, trudge through 99 degree heat to blessed coolness of Old Navy.*
"I don't know, Mom. Last year we bought pants at Old Navy and I outgrew them in like, two weeks."
"Honey, I'm pretty sure it's not the pants' fault that you outgrew them."
"Can't we just go to Aeropostale?"
And so on. Thankyou, God, for JC Penney.