Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Cynical Optimism and other Twisted Ideas

I have been finding myself being quite snarky where my children are concerned, lately. I think this is a twisted way of putting myself down...after all, if they are messed up, it's all my fault, so it's okay if I focus on the negative, right?  Because I'm not putting THEM down, I'm dogging my own parenting skills. 

<<Putting another dollar in the therapy fund.  Actually,  putting in five. >>

I also have a tendency to expect the worst in any given situation, because then when things work out, I am pleasantly surprised.  That's the source of the concept of Cynical Optimism. Like it?  I thought it up myself. 

I have a pretty well-developed sense of humor, if I do say so myself.  I love to laugh...and not just at other people.  I can be really smart alecky, but I am also a really nice person.  I feel terrible when I say something sarcastic and someone is offended.  . 

 <<Taking a dollar back out of the therapy fund to go buy some chocolate>>

 On the other hand, I rarely take offense when someone snubs me or says something biting.  This is either because 1) I don't think they really mean to be nasty, or 2) I deserve whatever they said.  I lose much more sleep over the stupid things I say and do than over what is said to me.

ANYWAY.  This makes me think about the all powerful and elusive VOICE in literature.  I may be wrong, but to me, this is a pretty direct reflection of the personality of the writer.  How much sarcasm is too much?  How much groveling is tedious?   Hmmm.  MAYBE, for me, it's not the sarcasm and guilt that come across when I write, but the conflict I have over these parts of me that is the thing. 

<<Puts dollar back in therapy fund, opens latest WIP instead.>>

1 comment:

  1. I like "cynical optimism." (No surprise there.)

    For every voice there is a rapt listener. Granted, the ones that tend to get published are the voices for whom there are tons of rapt listeners...