Thursday, April 7, 2011

Oh, Carlos.

This is the only picture I took in Mexico.  I really would like to say something clever, but really...a picture is worth a thousand words.  As a writer, I know I should try, but all I can say is that this is a real drug store in the Cancun airport...and you just walk in and pick up your little blue pills (and the antibiotics with which to chase them) and pay for them.  No messy prescription needed. 

We really had a great time on our anniversary vacation.  The Big Guy and I went with two other couples who were also celebrating 20 years of wedded...Bliss, yeah, that's it!  We stayed at the Now Sapphire resort on the Mayan Riviera.  Great resort.  Not a complaint in sight. 

Okay, one complaint.  The background music that looped endlessly through the dining/pool/bar area was really, really weird.  It was this easy listening kind of jazzy, light, female singing covers of stuff that didn't quite hit the easy listening, kind of jazzy, light sound mark.  I was almost okay with 3 Little Birds (Bob Marley) done elevator style, but Buffalo Soldier?  Followed by Satisfaction.  My friends heard a version of Sweet Child of Mine, but I missed it.  The kicker for me?  Radiohead's Creep. 

Anyway.  I learned several things in Mexico.

1) Carlos was supposed to be a six-foot tall cabana boy with six pack abs.  Instead, he was a five-foot tall shyster in the airport, who sucked us in to buying discounted snorkeling trips in exchange for suffering the time share experience at the Moon Palace Resort (which was lovely, but still).
 Lesson:  Keep Walking.  TBG, the only one of us who suggested we NOT take Carlos up on his offer, was very nice, and never even once said "I told you so." 

2)  Carlos was supposed to be a six-foot tall cabana boy with six pack abs.   Instead, he was a five-foot tall shyster in the airport. 
 Lesson:  Mexican men in Mexico are, on average, no taller than the Mexican men in Kentucky.  Someone was passing a link around last week with a map of the world and average, uh, man part lengths which suggests that Mexican men don't need to be tall, but I can't verify that this is true.  Anyone? 

3)  To a Mexican bartender, "Virgin Margarita" sounds just like "Frozen Margarita."  I was really good and didn't spit tequila across the bar when I took my first sip of alcohol in 8 years.  I also didn't fall off the wagon.  It was just a sip, it wasn't intentional, I didn't feel a buzz, and I didn't drink anything else.  I never got to go to an all-inclusive resort as a drinker, and I might have felt like I didn't get my money's worth, but I remembered the most important Lesson of all:  Free tequila is never really free. 

Cancun is absolutely beautiful.  We did get our snorkeling trips and I found Nemo.  He's safe and sound living next to some purple fan coral of the Isle Mujeres.  The people of Mexico were delightful.  The guys on the boat ride to the snorkeling place did the best Titanic skit I've ever seen, and they do a lovely impression of Ricky Martin singing YMCA (You kinda had to be there).

But now it's back to real life, laundry and carpools and science experiments that don't always work.  I found my favorite pen and I'm all recharged and ready to do some more writing! 


  1. LOL! Glad you had a good time in spite of the Carlos disillusionment. ;)

  2. Ha ha ha I'm glad you had fun. I thought I saw Nemo in Monaco, that boy gets around a lot.

  3. Fun post! So, the time-share sharks are swimming in Mexico, too, huh? Good to know. And thanks for the tip about Carlos.

  4. i dont know you, i came across your blog while researching the NOW Sapphire before our trip. Just wanted to let you know you literally made me laugh out loud. you should consider becoming a screenplay writer or something. and btw, i've got a picture of a pool bar bartender named Mario kissing my cheek good-bye~ you can TOTALLY see the sadness in my eyes! Happy Travels,