Say Goodbye to Back Boobs!

Proper word choice is the be-all and end-all of writers, isn't it?  I went on my annual It's-My-Birthday-and-my-mommy-still-takes-me-shopping shopping trip last night (with my mom).  I decided to suck it up and admit that I have moved back into the world of Women Who Have Curves and Shop at Lane Bryant. See, I used to be REALLY heavy, then I lost a ton of weight, and then I accidentally ate a pan of brownies, and now I'm about half way back to ginormous.  So my ego is a bit fragile on the subject, but being able to button my pants is even more important than pretending I'm still a size 12.

But that's not what I was going to talk about.  I tried on some jeans (and the first pair, the $20 pair, fit, yay!) and then decided that maybe I would buy a real, button-up, woven blouse.  I normally only wear knits because I DON'T IRON.  But whatever.  So I found this really cute blouse, but it has gathers in the front between the girls.  Or at least, where the girls are supposed to be.

So my mom, who loves me very much, suggested ever so gently that "a differerent" bra might be a good idea.  Like maybe one that I bought sometime within the last ten years, before I gained and lost and gained all that weight (in my defense, I HAVE thrown out the nursing bras, now that DQ is 14).

So I wandered over to the undergarment section and grabbed the first thing that I thought might fit, and tried it on, prepared to tug and squeeze and adjust my posture, drag the stuff that hangs over the sides of most bras into someplace less obvious... and lo and behold...Not only did it fit, there are No More Back Boobs!  I read the tag...this thing has something called "Back Smoothing Technology". 

Who knew!?!  I would have called it the "No More Back Boobs" bra, but then there is a reason that I am a budding writer and not an acccomplished fashion merchandizer. 

What are your favorite "nice" ways to say things?