Merry Two Days After Christmas!

Wow.  So I had this moment of "Oh, crap, I didn't do ANYTHING I wanted to do this year", so this is my annual "Oh crap, I didn't do the things I meant to do, but I did do some good stuff so I don't have to feel too bad" blog post. 

I meant to lose 20 pounds.  Instead, I think I gained 15.  So that goes back on the list for next year, with some .

I meant to finish at least one complete draft of a novel.  Instead, I let myself get sucked into obsessing over how to plot the perfect plot issues.  So that one goes on the list again for next year.  Not quitting. 

What I DID do, however, was read  Save The Cat by Blake Snyder, which is definitely helping things along.  I "get it" now, I just have to "do it". 
I also took a great workshop by Suzanne Johnson about quilting a plot, which also helped a lot. 

Speaking of quilting, I made these:

 
 

These are The Dead Guy Shirt Quilts, made from the shirts of my late neighbor, for his daughters. 

I also said goodbye to a good friend:

Lucy lived with us for 15 years.  I wasn't the best dog-mom on the planet, but she loved the heck out of us anyway.  Good Dog, Lucy!

But then said hello to:

Penny.  Named for the character on The Big Bang Theory, which is our current favorite sit-com. 

I had one child graduate from high school and start college at the ripe old age of 16, and have felt growing pains along with all three of my offspring. 

So I'm not going to end 2011 with self-recriminations, but with the knowledge that 2012 has incredible opportunity for growth!

Just hopefully not another 15 pounds. 

The Best App Ever

Okay, I totally cannot figure out how to upload a video so it shows up here.  I suck.  I am inept.  But it is very, very important that you all click here and watch this video.  Go ahead, I'll wait. 

Watch all the way til the end!


<iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/VsyE2rCW71o" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe

Anyway.  I have to go now, I have an App to download.

Watching for Backstory

I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that I have gotten hooked on The Walking Dead, which is a series on AMC about the zombie apocalypse. 

And okay, yeah, a big draw are those two guys standing in the foreground, Shane and Rick...best friends and coworkers at the beginning of the series.  But then Rick gets shot, and while he's in a coma (or something) there is a zombie apocalypse, and he wakes up to a whole new world, with all new rules. 

Here's the thing:  I started watching  the last four episodes of the first season, and then have watched all of the second season episodes.  I thought:  WOW, I have to go back and get the back story on all these people, because they are just all so awesomely flawed and appealing...There is so much going on here, surely I've missed something.



So I went back and got caught up with Netflix, and realized that I wasn't really missing all that much background information--only two episodes worth.  How do these writers do this without even a speck of  "As you know, Bob" going on? 

The first time I saw Lori and Shane together, I knew that they had been doing the nasty (even though Rick was still alive, much to everyone's surprise!), even though I hadn't seen that episode.  It was in a look that Lori had on her face when she realized Rick was still alive. 

And then there is Darrel...backwoods white boy with attitude...brother of the Meth head who sawed off his own hand to avoid being eaten by zombies...with a sensitive side buried so far down he has to tear up barns to keep it from getting out. 

My goal for the next month is to see how much backstory I can make up for people on the street, based on their mannerisms...and then try to write it.

I Surrender!

Dagnabbit, I am not going to make my NaNo word count by the end of the month.  I was SO on track, too.  And then life brought me Penny.

The "little" white puppy with the black ears is Penny.  The poor, brown, slob, laying down and taking the abuse, is Stella.  In the 7 short days that Penny has been part of our family, Stella has earned the Princess of Patience award.  Poor thing can't move without being impaled with puppy teeth.  Ears, throat, belly, all bear the marks of her unwillingness to take a bite out of the baby. 

Anyway. 

Not doing so well with getting any kind of writing done at all. I have, however, lost five pounds this week...all that running outside for housetraining is more activity than I've had in a while. 

The Teen Drama Queen, however, is on a roll.  She sat down last night and asked me to help her figure out some stuff with a short story she's supposed to turn in at school today.  I am in total awe at the level of detail in setting, dialogue, and character description she cranks out. She read me the opening for a story about four teens who discover (conveniently)  four necklaces with magical witchcraft powers.  The story she needed to turn in was supposed to be 1000 words, and she probably needs another 70,000 to get this complicated story finished.

I suggested maybe she should tell the story of the witch who created the necklaces...and in less than an hour, she brought me a completed short story, told in first person. It's about Mary Ash, a young married woman who believes her magic is a curse.  She's kept her witchiness a secret from her husband, but then her evil twin brother "outs" her (we're talking Salem, back in the day) and her husband proves his devotion by swearing to hide the necklaces that hold her power, so her evil twin brother won't get them.  But then Mary is burned at the stake (again...first person narrative*shudder*) and her brother undergoes spontaneous combustion. 

I am so proud of this kid!  She really struggles with school sometimes, but if her teachers don't suck the joy of learning from her, I think she'll be a great writer some day. 

Reading While Driving, and Other Stuff

Okay, I will admit that I have, on occassion, been so into a book that I was compelled to read a few lines every time I hit a stop light on my way home from work.  This week's "OMG, I Can't Put This Down" selection is Because Of You, by Jessica Scott.



Ya'll know how much I love a beat down on an Alpha Male hero, and Sgt. Shane Garrison fits the bill.  It's only $2.99 on Amazon right now...this is a first novel for Ms. Scott, and I can't wait for the next in this series.  Hopefully the next book will come out on a day off or something, though, so I can avoid becoming a traffic hazard.

Onto safer Auto-Literature:  Way back before the dawn of Kindle...heck, before the dawn of the home computer, there was born a human female who was raised by Cavemen:

And this human female, Ayla, proceeded to have a half-caveman baby, who she left behind when she left the cavemen people.  In subsequent books in the Earth's Children series, Ayla became the MacGuyver of the prehistoric folk:  domesticating wild animials, inventing sewing, discovering flint and steel....and so on. 

Ms. Auel is one slow-assed writer. Clan of the Cave Bear was released in 1980.  Yes, that's 1980...31 years ago.  I was a sophomore in high school!  My favorite of the series was the Valley of Horses, because that's when Ayla met Jondalar and discovered "sharing pleasures".  Cause, you know, SEX. 

The fifth book came out this year. 

Ayla is aging well, and she has a kid, balancing motherhood and medicine-womanhood, she's still got that smokin' hot Jondalar as her mate (although they haven't shared many pleasures lately, as far as I can tell), she still hangs out with the horses, the wolf...

Anyway.  I got the book on audio, and it's like 35 hours worth of listening.  To details of preshistoric human life.  There is a lot of repitition of detail in here, too...explaining relationships and how Whinny's pole drag (Whinny is Ayla's horse, the pole drag is a travois thing) is used to carry people and stuff...And not much plot.  I'm about halfway through the CD's, and I'm GOING to finish this book, but I hope that when the next one comes out, in say, 2025, that Ayla goes through menopause and goes all psycho on someone's ass and creates some drama, because I'm in danger of drifting off to sleep while I'm driving and reading this one!

Like I Really Have Time for This

A few months ago, my 15 year-old German Sherpherd/Lab Mix, Lucy, was ushered on to the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm in the sky, with many tears and regrets.  Then The Big Guy had a couple of beers and suggested that we should get a new friend for Stella, our chocolate Lab.  May I point out that TBG works out of town at least every other week? 

I nixed that suggestion. 

But there's this thing I go through every now and then, I call it Baby Lust.  I went through it when my boys were toddlers, and I thought I was assuaging that urge by acquiring a puppy (Lucy), who was way more dog than I was prepared for at the time.  And then, Oops! I I was so busy with two human puppies and one canine puppie that  forgot to take my birth control pills a couple of days in a row, and was blessed with a Surprise Drama Queen (who is now almost 14, and the Abbot to my Costello, the Fruit in my Loom--not a mistake or an accident, but a wonderful surprise).  Yep, getting a puppy resulted in getting a baby. 

Anyway. Last weekend, I wandered in to my local Petsmart, which is when the Stray Animal Adoption Program has animals who are looking for a forever home.  Sigh. 

I tried really hard to ignore the idea of a new dog, I really did.  The Big Guy had recanted his suggestion of a companion for Stella. 

And so I would like to introduce you to Penny: 

Penny is a 9-week old, at least 1/2, Treeing Walker Coonhound, who does not like to sleep alone in her crate, and is quite vocal about her displeasure. 

Penny and The Bearded Wonder

Let us all say a prayer that the addition of Penny to the household will not result in TBG having a spontaneous vasectomy reversal. 

Torturing a Hero: By Making Him Apppear in My NaNo Novel

My poor hero is not having a very good time so far during NaNoWriMo.  He was very comfortable living a life of seclusion, with a semi-new identity, avoiding the notoriety that came with being the Charlie Sheen of golf.  But then I thought him up (along with some help from Kate).  And I'm trying to torture him. 


Except my hero, Chris, looks more like this:



He just used to act like C.S. 

So far, he's had to sit in a hot parking lot waiting for his uncle to come out of the grocery store (how is THAT for an exciting first hero scene?), then Uncle Carl goes and has a stroke on him, and he finds out that Uncle Carl has neither health insurance nor a living will (so even if he wanted to pull the plug on the old fart, he can't), and NOW this weird, uptight scientist chick has shown up expecting him to give her golf lessons.  Next thing you know she's going to be dragging him around where his identity might be exposed, threaten his hard-won sobriety, and probably make him fall in love with her or something. 

What are you doing to your hero or heroine? 

We Interrupt this NaNoWriMo For a Special Report

My Imaginary boyfriend of the month, Channing Tatum,


has a new movie opening this week, Son of No One.
Your basic gritty cop drama with Ray Liotta, Al Pacino,sordid pasts and present scandals. 
And apparently it's a stinker. Which is really okay, because there is alway the probability that Channing will have his shirt off at some point.

  Unfortunately, the reviews I've read have been written by people who evaluate movies for the quality of the writing and the acting.  Whatever. 

OOOOOOOHHHHH, Scary, Kids!

I got to work this morning, and had a bit of a shock:

That's my desk, and it's really, really clean.  For a moment there I was worried that maybe I had been replaced, because I do NOT keep my desk that tidy.  Except then I remembered that on Friday I was supposed to be reading a bunch of papers and writing a grant proposal, which motivated me to clean house--anything to avoid reading science on a Friday!

But wow, what a great start to the week...a tidy desk!  I know where almost everything is, and I feel like I can start work with a reasonable clean slate.  Which brings me to NaNo...Tomorrow is November!  Woo Hoo!

I think I might celebrate with a brand new, clean memory stick.  Yeah, I know, I could just delete or move all the crap on the 6 or 7 that I already have, but there is something about a new drive...kind of like a new box of crayons for the first day of school...it doesn't matter how many hundred old broken, peeled crayons you have...you need a new box on the first day of school. 

Are you going to NaNo?  What are you getting to celebrate the launch?  A new pen, a new notebook, a new net book? 

Add me as a Buddy!  teriannestanley is my user name. 

Oh, and I'm sure you need and update on my baby snails:

See that kind of crescent shaped black spot near the bottom right of the green algae fest?  That's the big sister snail.  There are three of four babies to the left, smaller black spots.  Aren't they cute?  See them waving?

Sweater Day

Okay, I know this pic isn't as nice as Monday's.  Not even close.  But it's cold and nasty here today, and I finished this sweater yesterday, and while I prefer 70 and sunny, I'm glad I have a nice, warm sweater today.

Now if I could just get rid of that weird swoopy thing that my hair is doing, my day might be a little closer to perfect.  And if I didn't have a day job and could spend the day writing or reading.  With Channing Tatum, my pool boy bringing me frosty drinks. 

ARRGGH!

My desktop computer has been giving me fits.  It kicks me off at random moment, usually right in the middle of a fabulous blog post, which it refuses to save.  Could be that maybe I should be blogging from home instead of work...so until I can get to my laptop, I'll leave you with this, if I don't get logged off first:

Friday Fantasy

Last night I dreamt that I went to live in a tree house, WAY above the jungle, on a mountain, in some South American country with:

and:

and:

As well as my friend Diane, who kind of looks like:

And a couple of other people.  It was a pretty nice tree house, considering.  It didn't have real plumbing, I kind of remember something about a potty chair and plastic bags (I've always been more concerned with practicalities than with amenities like a flat screen TV).  You had to get to the house by climbing a tree and crossing a long, long swinging bridge:

Diane bought a bunch of purses made by native people, and she was mad because they only sent her half of what she ordered. 

Josh Duhamel had smuggled along a ton of prescription drugs in the back of his belt, I guess he had a problem.

I cooked breakfast the first day, which was fine, but I got mad because no one volunteered to clean up after me. 

And that is all I can remember.  What I REALLY want to know is what we were doing in that stupid tree house to begin with!  Were we scientists, there to study something?  On a reality TV show? 

Anyone else have any ideas?  This is going to bug me all day!

Warm up the Flash Drive

NaNoWriMo is coming!  I had a great time doing this last year, and managed to crank out about half of a shitty first draft (SFD).  The novel is now languishing on a flash drive somewhere at the bottom of my jewelry box, hoping I will continue to ignore it for another 11 months.  I think it will be pleased that I am not planning to start over on the same story. 

I have another brilliant story in mind for this year.  Brilliant, I tell you. It was actually inspired by CP Kate, when I was whining to her about maybe having to fill out a foursome for a charity golf outing.  I am not a golfer under the best of circumstances, and even less so on a cold, wet October day. 

She said something along the lines of, "Wouldn't that be a great setting for a romantic comedy?" 

And I said, "Why, yes, Kate, it would.  I shall steal your idea and run with it."  I figure since it was my almost golf outing, I get to have the setting, even though she thought of it.  Remind me to remove this blog post before I get sued for plagiarism. 

I'm actually doing some plotting for this one, rather than just diving in at Midnight, November 1.  I'm using a combination of stuff I learned from Suzanne Johnson's workshop on plotting, quilter style; and the "W" method, from another workshop taught by Karen Docter.  I also like the snowflake  method, I do a little of that, too. I have a little composition book, some fresh pens, a new flash drive, post-its, highlighters, yada yada yada. I'm plotting, ready to write!

I also have a couple of software programs, just to make things even more complicated. I use Microsoft Word, of course...it's pretty universal, I guess.  I have just started playing with Google Docs, but not sure that's really useful.  I like that I don't have to email everything to myself, or try to remember my flash drive,  if I switch from my work computer to my home one...but if I'm on my laptop and don't have internet access (there are places without hotspots. Not many, but I can find them!), I can't get to whatever I've stashed there. 

I really like One Note, which is also a part of MS Office...you've probably got it and never used it.  It's like a virtual notebook.  It has sections and pages, so you can have a tab marked "Characters" and put a character on each page, and another section for the actual story, with a scene per page or whatever...it's really easy to put text and pictures and circles and arrows and all kinds of stuff on the page.  But that's not very portable.  If I was only working on one computer, I would use it more. 

I haven't delved deeper into actual writer's software...I'd love to hear what everyone else uses, and how you keep track of stuff.  Are you going to NaNo? What is your plan of attack?

Are Zombies the New Vampires?

I've been telling my student lab worker that I'm concerned that Zombies are the new Vampires.  She just smiles politely and goes about her dishwashing duties.  Of course, I don't think she quite shares my fascination with the Black Dagger Brotherhood.  She'll come around. 

Here's the thing:  Used to be, Vampires were pretty much all around bad guys.  Anyone remember Salem's Lot?  No good guy vampires there.  Dracula may have been some kind of sexy, but he was still a bad guy. But then vampires started getting all sparkly and junk.

  Which is fine--sparkly vampires got my daughter interested in literature.  The Black Dagger Brothers are just plain HOT.  And Bill and Eric?  Bring 'em on. 

But now I'm realizing that since vampires are good guys(and werewolves have almost never been bad guys, just poorly trained puppies), we need new bad guys.

 

Bring in the zombies.   

Brain dead, human eating, slow and stupid; yet relentless and hard to kill (since they are already dead, right?).  Zombies are just nasty.  They're not only cold and ugly, they are rotting.  There is no amount of Old Spice that is going to take care of that. 

But if vampires used to be bad guys, and now are good guys, and zombies are now bad guys, does that mean that zombies are going to be good guys sometime soon?  Who would the bad guys be then?  Talking sea slugs? 

Putting on My Big Girl Boots

Last weekend, the Big Guy and I went to Nashville, Tennessee to celebrate his 50th birthday.  I got lots of good presents.  I got a new car, and I got some REAL cowboy boots! And yes, I did say that it was BG's birthday, but whatever, he got a leg lamp and a gift card to Sears.

ANYWAY, back to me.  I've wanted cowboy boots FOREVER.  But the real ones (as opposed to the Payless variety)  are just so damned expensive!  And when I've had a little extra money, there's always been something more sensible to spend it on.  But I got paid for a side job last week, and the money was burning a hole in my (patent leather, Payless) purse, so when we got to Nashville, and went for a walk down Broadway, and passed Betty Boots,
 I had to stop and drag BG inside.  And bought me some real cowboy boots. I did sign a waiver stating that I would not wear them with Daisy Duke shorts or a mini skirt.  There is a definite age limit on that sort of fashion statement.  And a thigh diameter limit.

 We then proceeded to visit a great many fun bars, listened to some awesome music, and watched people.  If you like country music at all, you've got to go to Nashville at least once.  I got one of my kids a T-shirt that says "Viva Nash Vegas", and it really is, on a smaller scale, without the strippers and the gambling.  The neon and entertainment factors are incredible. 

We also went to the Grand Ol' Opry and saw an overgrown hillbilly boy band (Rascal Flatts) get inducted into the Opry, which was v. cool. 

Anyway, back to me.  My friend Dawn Alexander sent me a book, The Me Project, and I'm working through it.  This is going to help me do stuff that I've always wanted to do without feeling guilty for doing something for me...one of the things that holds me back is a fear of seeming selfish.  So I'll keep you posted! 

And I'll be doing it with my boots on!
 

Little Kid Stuff that Becomes Big Kid Stuff

I love all kind of fiber arts. I spin, I knit, I quilt, I've been into the whole paper crafting/rubber stamping/scrapbooking scene, even was into making my own paper for a while. As I was sorting through all the email I get from crafty magazines, I came across this knit stocking inspired by Little House in the Big Woods, and I'm like, OMG.  I totally have to make these socks. When I was little, I wanted to do all the stuff that Laura did. Sew, make maple syrup, eat honey that Pa rescued by killing a bear (could never convince my dad to do this one for me). 

I'll put the stockings on my To Do list, behind "finish this stupid first draft" and "glue rhinestones to this posing suit" and "finish those quilts from the dead guy's shirts for his daughters". 

But anyway.  Thinking about the Little House books takes me back to elementary school.  I. Loved. Those. Books.  The TV show, not so much, though I did watch it.  The show always kind of made me uncomfortable, because Laura was always doing stupid stuff that you KNEW was going to be a problem. I mean, come on, Laura!  Can't you hear the "you're going to get hurt or endanger someone else" music?  And that Mary, burning down the barn because she was reading?  Whatever. 


Reading Ramona The Pest led me to pulling Kelly Kamrath's springy blonde hair and dyeing my Barbie's hair with markers.

 Reading Charlotte's Web kept me from being afraid of spiders and made me want to be a pig farmer (that one, interestingly, didn't pan out, but I do still love a good trip to the petting zoo). I must have read that book 12 times, and I STILL cry when I see the movie and that stupid spider bites the dust.

 
 I called my brother Ape Face for years after I read Freaky Friday (did you know it was a book before it was a movie--with Jody Foster, before Lindsay Lohan?). 

So what kid's book inspired your aspirations as a kid?  Which ones still resonate? 

Macarena and Cheese

I have two really wonderful crit partners.  I med Kate Pembrooke at my first online writer's workshop.  She said something that resonated with me (probably about being a newbie lurker) and we started to chat away from the loop, decided to buddy up.  We send each other stuff we've been working on, and encourage each other, and forgive each other for getting caught up with our families and procrastinating.  Kate writes Regency, and she has a great knack for characterization.  She's been submitting stuff for contests, and I bet she's going to start getting some nibbles soon.  So get back to work, Kate, finish that book! 

I connected with Dawn Alexander on twitter.  We both follow @roniloren, and started chatting there, and decided to connect to do some critting. She writes suspense, which I am trying to write, too.  She's the plotter of the family.  I read the last manuscript she wrote, and it had everything:  scary bad psycho nut job, a little clairvoyance, secondary characters which BETTER be getting their own story soon...oh, and an ending. 

Dawn is also a blogger, and a few weeks ago she asked me to be her tuesday featured writer.  Most of the time she has REAL writers who have actually published something, but she must have been feeling sorry for me, because she invited me to be her guest this week.  Anyway, check out Chasing Someday .  Maybe then you'll understand my post title.  Maybe not, but that's okay, too! 

Whatcha Readin' While You're Laying There With That Box of Kleenex?

Last week I took Drama Queen (13) and The Sam Stanley Experience (16) to a Toby Keith concert.  DQ was very excited, TSSE took his iPod in case the country music made his ears bleed (but he wouldn't give up his ticket, wanted to check out the concert experience, he said). 


We had lawn seats, so our roof was the starry, starry, er...pouring down rainy sky.  But I paid $40 a piece for those tickets, goldarnit, ya'll are going to stay to the end of this concert and like it!  We gave up on staying dry after the opening act and just kept our plastic ponchos on to try to retain body heat. 

As  a side note, the lawn seat crowd for a Toby Keith is a little, er, smokier, than a Brooks and Dunn crowd.  DQ was a bit shocked to see a man older than me smoking something that may not have been a cigarette.

DQ:  "Shouldn't he be old enough to know better?"
Me:  "Well, yes, I suppose he should."

DQ: "Doesn't he know, or care, that there is a 13-year old CHILD standing right here?"
Me: "Well, I don't know, but at least I am sure that YOU know better."

DQ: "Is he going to get weird and mean?"
Me: "Only if you get between him and the pizza booth."

So, innocence stripped away, DQ managed to enjoy the show anyway, and I even caught The SSE singing along a couple of times (although, maybe he was just standing to close to the "I'll Never Smoke Weed With Willie Again" crowd).

Me, I had a blast at the show, but spent the weekend with tissues and all of my favorite cold remedies.  Four hours of standing in the cold rain and mud were just enough, apparently, to dispell any doubts that you can catch your near-death of cold in the cold!

But I did some reading this weekend. 
I finished

which was fun.  Nothing like getting kidnapped by a highlander and dragged through the cold, wet highlands to not mind the mud and rain of a Toby Keith concert so much. 

Then I read a few chapters of

I've started it a few weeks ago, but then The SSE snatched it to read.  I finally got it back, and am catching up on Katniss and Peeta, about to enter the fray once again. 

I also started
.
Nothing like a little Parisian Man-whore story to take the edge off of the Young Adult literature. 

What did you read this weekend? 

Who is going to be the next Harrison Ford?  Well, maybe the guy in the purple shirt?

His name is Sung Kang, and he's not exactly been in anything I've seen, but them what's "in the know" 
(Fall Movie Guide)
say he's got the cool hard-ass thing going on.  Based on this picture, I might agree, but not sure I could sit through a "Fast and Furious" film, no matter how cool he is.  Unless he takes of his shirt.  Then I might secretly rent it on DVD

And Ryan Gosling might be the next George Clooney.  If so, I'll be happy to sooth George's bruised ego.  And anything else that might be aching. 

I do, however, welcome Jeremy Renner to replace Tom Cruise. Maybe he knows more about neuropsychology.  And maybe he's taller.  Okay, even if he's not taller, he's got my vote. 

Have a great day!

I'm off to get a mammogram...jealous?